the hawk

this post has been on my mind

for so long.

I run it over and over in my mind

but, never put it down in writing.

with Father's Day 

being this weekend;

today seemed the day

to put it in words.

I have shared the story

with a few close friends

but, I never want to forget

so I am putting it here.

My dad was an outdoorsman,

a hunter and hound-man.

He grew up in Wyoming

and was a legit cowboy.

We moved around a lot.

Dad, Mom, and us kids.

and we did a lot together, 

as a family.

Growing up

I never really understood.

Never realized, 

he wasn't like a lot of, other dads.

or those other families didn't 

move around like we did.

He would take us kids and mom

hiking, camping, and hunting.

we traipsed through swamps

with dad's hounds.

we hiked up mountains

just to go hunting.

when we camped,

we usually had to hike to it

& if someone was camping nearby

well, we found a different area!

He was always asking us

if we knew the name of 

a bird or

he would ask,

"see that eagle?"

"see that hawk?"

He knew every single

name, of them all...

and would often ask us

if we knew the name of a

particular bird or an animal.

as a pre-teen and teen

I wasn't very impressed.

I am sorry, I wasn't.

I am sorry it took so long

for me to notice.

to appreciate.

My dad died of cancer 

in the Fall of 1989

and a little while later...

I noticed my first hawk.

it was sitting on a pole along the side road

and I could hear dad say,

"see that hawk?"

I drove right on past it

but, I took note.

I remembered.

I could hear his voice, clearly

asking if I noticed it.

that is how it started.

that one day

a year or so after dad had died.

Now, I notice---

 an owl sitting on a fence

an eagle soaring 

a hawk sitting on a telephone pole

and

I think of dad.

I've begun saying 

to my husband as we are driving,

"see that hawk?" 

"Oh, look at the eagle!"

"turn around, I just saw an owl on a pole!"

I notice.

Last November

my husband and I flew to our 

daughter and son in laws home

in CA.

We were in a car driving to spend 

Thanksgiving with his family.

I was in the backseat

and I kept seeing hawks.

I mean, I stopped counting 

when I had seen at least

 6 of them!!

I reached down 

picked up my phone to text my Mom

to wish her a

 Happy Thanksgiving...

when I noticed the date on my phone!

the date was November 24, 2016

My dad passed away on November 24, 1989

I started to choke up

as I told my daughter

who was in the backseat with me,

how I had noticed

 so many hawks in such a short time,

and how I believed 

that my dad, her grandpa

was sending them

to say,

"I love you."

"I am thinking of you"

I still get a bit emotional 

when I think of that day.

It took over 6 hawks for me

to realize the significance

of that day.

but, I noticed!

I still see hawks and eagles.

I still remember.

I will keep

noticing those eagles.

I will keep noticing those hawks.

one day soon,

a hawk or eagle feather 

will be incorporated into a tattoo.

I will always remember

you, dad.

Happy Father's Day!